@the_rock_chic: A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes...

@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.

@kay_bee28: Told my mum someone had been shot and she asked with what? I wanted to reply 'with a cutlass' but I want her to pay for masters...

@Cpt_Burnout: My husband is the nicest guy that I could ever dream of (murdering).

@LindaInDisguise: I took a "Which Disney princess are you?" quiz and I got Jafar.