@TitansHomer: I'm the guy at the gym laying face down on the treadmill telling everyone "I'm ok, I'm ok"
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@Tmoney68: Thought it might be fun to go on American Ninja Warrior. Then I tripped over a rubber dog bone in my living room and put that dream to bed.
@Ivsy01: Breaking up (be mature, be mature, be mature) Me: (eating chips) you can't use the carpool lane anymore.
@Zwolf666: Stephen Hawking's worn out two pair of shoes since the last time my co-worker said something intelligent.
@Mardigroan: Luke, I am your uncle. Luke, I am your third cousin. Luke, I am your grandmother. - Skywalker family reunion