@Juicedballs: I'm the guy that lures fragile old ladies into my windowless van at night with Werthers Originals.Then safley escort them to the bingo hall.
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@clarkekant: Obama says he’s pro-vaccine, GOP comes out against it. Now Obama needs to express his support for breathing.
@CM2BTTHD: Our dog runs away so much, I'm just going to spray paint our phone number on her side.
@StarksWeek: I'm not saying I'm bilingual but if you shout at me in German I'll probably do whatever you want
@theroneman: [mom sneaks up & scares son; ruins coloring] Narrator: Does this happen to u? Then u need... [cut to mom jumping on 1 foot & yelling] Legos