@Juicedballs: I'm the guy that lures fragile old ladies into my windowless van at night with Werthers Originals.Then safley escort them to the bingo hall.
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@EndhooS: [Interview] "Do you have any previous experience dealing with animals?" [flashback to my flatmate leaving toast crumbs in the butter] ..Yes.
@empressofsong: I am open to suggestions, comments, or glowing praise followed by many exclamation points.
@envydatropic: I passed a sofa on the expressway on my way to work..... I've never wanted to pull over so bad in my entire life
@GoFrankGo: Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula.