@pixelatedboat: "I'm the world champion of hearing," I lied to the girl at the bar. 20 minutes later the real world champion burst in and hit me in the jaw
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@PanicRestroom: I wonder if the username "That Cab" is free, cause a lot of people would want to follow "That Cab"
@mattvalleau: Pet Review: Horses Cost: Thousands of dollars Pros: Bragging about owning a horse Cons: Can literally kick your face off, big teeth 1.5/10