@shutupmikeginn: I'm thinking about getting a mirror over my bed so I can watch myself while I'm eating cereal.
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@OhNoSheTwitnt: Some coworkers sign emails with "cheers" or "sincerely" followed by their names but I typically use "you've made a powerful enemy today."
@squirrel74wkgn: [at Victoria's Secret] *folding panties on table* "Sir, where are the fitting rooms?" Oh, I don't work here. *continues folding panties*
@juliussharpe: I wish Bond movies gave a more realistic view of his jet lag and traveler's diarrhea.
@Mikecanrant: Think about a nice pair of slacks. Now think about a panda. Now about radishes. Now about salt. I think you see where Im going with this.