@gorrdano: I'm throwing myself a circumcision party tomorrow, so anybody with a scalpel and a steady hand, stop on by. Jews welcome only with gift.
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@KevinFarzad: Hmm ok Trump may have said another horrible thing but let’s not forget Hillary once texted a friend “Omw!” while she was still in the shower
@GaryJanetti: Before you tell me anything about your kid you should know I'm going to mentally leave my body.
@anerdonfire2: I wouldn't recommend drinking too much and wrapping presents. I still can't find my remote.
@PajamaStew: Twitter is the only place where it's actually BORING to discover that you are being followed by hundreds of robots.