@gorrdano: I'm throwing myself a circumcision party tomorrow, so anybody with a scalpel and a steady hand, stop on by. Jews welcome only with gift.
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@Stellacopter: If you put on a really cute outfit you can walk around a nightclub selling people drinks that you find on tables.
@3sunzzz: Of course everyone says that their kid is SO smart. No decent parent would ever say, "This is my boy Jack, he's as dumb as a bag of hair."
@GringoBrulee: HR: Do you know why we called you in here today? Me: I'm not taking off my Batman suit, sir.