@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
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@novicefather: [william shakespeare as an 8yo] dad: bedtime william: dost thou not... dad: [interrupting] STOP TALKING LIKE THAT!
@senderblock23: [someone reading a beautiful poem in german] ME: i have never been more frightened
@pixelatedboat: Kids, if you want to succeed in journalism the way to do it is to suck at your job in a way that's useful to rich people
@Smiilze: Forgot to turn on the oven. Food's been in there for 45mins. I know, cause I set the timer.