@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
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@bornmiserable: Jay Z: Can I get a what what? Teacher: Jay Z, can you or may you? Jay Z: SORRY MAY I GET A WHAT WHAT Teacher: Yes, you may get a what what.
@ibid78: [good cop] admit you stole those diamonds [suspect] wait but I peed on them so now they're mine [dog cop] Jim he has a point
@duplicitron: Mail some pirates a treasure map leading to the exact spot where you need a hole dug for a tree.