@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
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@AndyAsAdjective: COWORKER: big weekend plans? ME: fulfilling the blood prophecy…you? CW: what? M: what? CW: did you say- M: neighborhood barbecue, yes
@MichaelTrying: A couple of weeks ago I replaced my work computer with an aquarium. If anyone asks, I say it's my screensaver.
@NymphoFor: Little do you know that in my head I've already married you, divorced you, and hidden your body.