@KevinFarzad: I'm tired of being told to remove my card rapidly. Starting a new ATM for people who wanna remove their card at a more chill pace
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@WheelTod: [Traffic Stop] Cop: Sir, please step out of the car Me: But you said... Cop: I said 3 minutes tops & you promised not to touch the siren.
@jackiembouvier: I reached blindly inside my cavernous mom bag for a lip balm and I touched something I didn't recognize. Go on without me.
@WilliamRodgers: "If you love something, set it free..." Unless it's a man... Cause he'll get lost... And you know he won't ask for directions...