@Moronyc: I'm tired of writing "Sent from my iPhone" at the end of all me e-mails, maybe I should just get an iPhone
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@iQuoteComedy: That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep.
@rickolantern: My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
@kumailn: Life hack: Stare into your Uber driver's eyes through the rear view mirror the entire time.
@crunchenhancer: When bears are around, try to look skinny and they won't eat you. If that doesn't work, kick your buddy in the nuts and RUN!