@CroweJam: I'm too immature for adultery.
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@LoveNLunchmeat: *gets called a psychopath *googles "What's the average IQ of a psychopath?" AWWW, HE THINKS I'M REALLY SMART.
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun.
@stephenjmolloy: Me: "There are so many exotic sounding flavours these days. I just can't resist-" Doctor: "YOU NEED TO STOP DRINKING SHAMPOO!"