@Storminika: Good things about drinking on the plane: 1. You don't have to drive. 2. No matter how much you drink, they can't throw you out.

@Quartzjixler: A mother bear defending her cubs but it's me defending the fresh pan of bacon from other hotel guests at the breakfast buffet.

@DillDoes: *throws king crab into tank of normal crabs* Go, lead them to freedom, this is your birthright

@SarahFemme: I hope at my funeral someone has the foresight to bring a Ouija board so I can live tweet Hell.

@DaddyJew: When a cop eats bacon is it considered cannibalism?