@delusionaliam: Turns out, pounding a wooden stake through a vampire's heart works even if a guy is not a vampire.
@EndhooS: "Your resume says weaknesses: hide & seek"
Yeah
"Can you demonstrate?"
Sure, count to 10
*Counts to 10 & opens eyes*
*I'm literally on fire*
@fuzzlime: Men fantasize about me, women want to be me and children obey me!
[wakes up on bathroom rug]
@omgthatspunny: Cartoonist found dead in home . Details are sketchy.
@HatfieldAnne: When you offer me cookies, act surprised when I take one. Declare loudly you’ve never seen me eat dessert before.
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