@CroweJam: I'm too immature for adultery.
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@batkaren: "Every dog has his day," they used to say. Still, no one was quite prepared that morning Emperor Mister Pickles marched his army into town.
@tastefactory: *picks up bug, puts it outside* There ya go. *later, bug smashes thru door carrying gun* You should have killed me when you had the chance
@heatherlou_: These people act like they've never seen a woman eat a whole rotisserie chicken before.