@brookeperrin: "I'm wet and have crabs." That's what sea said.
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@BritXNic: "Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?
@_Bankrobber_: "Weltengesichtpfeifenschuldigung" is the German word for "accepting as a fact something you've just been told without bothering to check".
@Brampersandon_: WIFE: Not your eyes! You dont have to prove it anymore GUY WHO CLAIMS HE PUTS HOT SAUCE ON EVERYTHING: *thru tears* I made a commitment babe
@Rollmaninoz: *Drops son at preschool* Son: I love you daddy *tears up* *3pm picks son up* S: love you Ms H, love you stuffed toy Me: oh I see how it is