@TravLeBlanc: I'm working on inventing an electronic Ouija board so that I can keep tweeting after I die.
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@AlexvanBeek: Murder is like art, as long as you can bullshit your way into justifying it, someone out there will be like "oh yeah, I totally get it."
@DannyZuker: The most romantic restaurant in the world is not as dimly lit as the operating room on a TV medical drama.
@huntigula: Guy: Why does everyone call you "Gross Gary"? Gary: [filling a canteen with hotdog water] Nobody calls me that.