@WeissBrandon: I'm "yells at people who drive too fast in my neighborhood" years old
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@LMLMadness: My Mom keeps warning me about talking to strangers on the Internet. I'm 34 now Mom. I don't talk to them. I sleep with them.
@KenJennings: You guys know Chumbawamba broke up because you kept spelling it "Chumbawumba," right?
@mattZillaaaa: Everyone on Instagram has pics of them at places all over the world & I'm like here's another shot of me from a different angle on my sofa
@TheToddWilliams: [praying mantis first date] Female: You seem to have a good head on your shoulders. Male: Yeah well, you know, saving it for marriage.