@House_Feminist: Imagine having a baby that didn't photograph well for Instagram. What a waste.
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@pixelatedboat: You (drinking coffee): Drugs are bad Me (smugly injecting heroin): Actually, coffee is a drug
@Smug_Lemur: The best part about talking to a narcissist is how there isn't any pressure to add to the conversation.
@CheryeDavis: Set my phone to change K to Okay!! so I don't look rude. Now it looks like I'm all excited about stupid shit, and I'm Okay!! with that.
@TheBoydP: Canadians leaving south for vacation are like Americans escaping marriage, desperately trying to escape frigid temperatures...