@DanMentos: imagine if poop was transparent. I’d completely lose my shit
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@QwertyJones3: Her: It's disgusting how many dirty habits you have. Me: THE NUNS PAY ME GOOD MONEY TO DO THIER LAUNDRY OK???
@DanMentos: I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool "This is my 24th winter" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart
@CoopFogg: When I order pizza online, in the "Special Instructions for the Driver" box, I put "Tell me I'm a pretty princess". And they do. And I am.