@GingerHotDish: Imagine my surprise at the school Thanksgiving "costume" party, when I showed up as Poison Ivy and everyone else was dressed as pilgrims.
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@SadPeruna: If I was a magician I'd ask someone in the audience for a $20 bill and then just run away. You could prob make like $40 doing that.
@LindseyEllison2: I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know.
@blade_funner: Officer: I'll need to see a photo ID. Me: (pulling out a selfie at an R.E.M. concert) That's me in the corner. That's me in the spotlight.
@cheeky__gal: The spider I just killed with a napkin isn't in the napkin, and now I'm in a circle of salt reciting incantations.