@GingerHotDish: Imagine my surprise at the school Thanksgiving "costume" party, when I showed up as Poison Ivy and everyone else was dressed as pilgrims.
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@SadMeterologist: Told my wife I wanted our kids every other weekend and she reminded me that we're married & live together so I'd have to see them every day.
@MattMcC1: "We run a tight ship" barked the captain, his shoulders barely getting thru the doorway "Real tight." he turns sideways to fit down the hall