@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Jessthesav: If Donald Trump becomes president all the immigrants nd their cultures gunna leave nd white people gunna be stuck with their nasty ass food
@murrman5: [kidnapper hands wife phone] "brent" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED
@patrickmarkryan: Two drivers crash into each other. They both finish writing their texts before getting out of their cars to inspect the damage