@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
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@IAmKatieOrr: "Dear Diary, the ugly woman at the bank cut in front of me today." Woman: "EXCUSE ME?!" [whispers]"Dear Diary, I think she can hear me."
@MamaFizzles: My kids made a mess this morning pretending to be leprechauns. They don't know it yet, but after school they get to pretend to be janitors.
@WhatevaConc: A surprise Hunger Games competition for everyone who makes eye contact with me today in the office.