@Prince_Smarming: Imagine my surprise when I found out "restraining order" did not mean she wanted me to tie her up.
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@QwertyJones3: My wife & I couldn't agree on which psychic to go to. They were all sad and depressing. "What did you do?" We finally found a happy medium
@StephenAtHome: The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
@NYC_Blonde: Boys are cute how they're all "I like girls that don't wear heavy makeup" and "get down from that tree near my window or I'll call the cops"