@GerryDuggan: Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more.
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@bombsydoll: [at dentist office] Well you gave me this paper bib and said to put it on how was I to know I wasn't supposed to undress first
@TheToddWilliams: [job interview] Boss: What qualifies you to be a ninja? Ninja: I just cut your head off. Boss: That’s pr--*thump*
@Underchilde: What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store.
@david8hughes: Me: coming to the office Xmas party? Steve: no [whispers] Lisa just lost her father Me: there'll be like 50 of us there. We'll help you look