@GerryDuggan: Imagine PREDATOR is a sequel to E.T. Now enjoy both films more.
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@panmidwest: [pulled over] ME: Ok, don't let him know you're an alligator COP: Sir, step out of the car & walk in a straight line ME: [exhale] thank God…
@Bob_Janke: *washing motorcycle with my shirt off *cops show up Cops: That guy told you to stay away from his motorcycle
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Current adult status: Just got into a heated debate about whether or not Merida from Brave is a Disney princess. I won. She is not.