@Reverend_Scott: Imagine trying to explain Captain America: Civil War to Abraham Lincoln.
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@RatchetAfrican: Jack the Ripper and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name. Coincidence? I think not...
@ClichedOut: [introducing date] Me: This is Linda, my date. Her: You mean Lisa. Me: This is Linda, my Lisa.
@mortimermaiden: [restaurant] Manager: You're fired. Me: Why?! Manager: You're a bad waiter. Me: *sitting with a family waiting for their food* I disagree.