@LetsQuoteComedy: In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments.
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@KentWGraham: After 20 years of marriage, my wife still makes me smile. Usually at family gatherings where she threatens me if I don’t look happy.
@MissNaughty1801: 7y: mummy, how long have you been married to daddy? Me: 7 years 7y: how long have you got left?
@Chelsea_Elle: Lost my car keys so I'm forcing the guy at Home Depot to make me new ones based on what I remember about them.