@LetsQuoteComedy: In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@just1fool: Sleeping with me is a lot like sleeping with a stuffed animal. But that's only after I've eaten Mexican food.
@SortaBad: "Sooo sorry I fell asleep during your wedding. It was rude but your vows were like SO long. Anyway, you may now kiss the bride"
@JakeAupperle: Cashier: Cute kid, how old? Mom: Thank you, 28 months & 4days. What's my total? Cashier: Your total is 756 quarters & 8 dimes. #cashierlife
@UniqueDude2: Angry Birds? Hmmph. In my day we had real entertainment. For instance, have you seen the classic film "The Birds?" It's about Angry Birds.