@LetsQuoteComedy: In 1000 years, archaeologists will find tanning beds and think we fried people as punishments.
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@Nahdude83: "Sir, how may I help you?" *swivels around in chair* -- A coffee please! "Did you bring that chair in here?" *reclines back* --- Maybe?
@Sassafrantz: I just introduced my date as P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney because I forgot his name. How's your night?
@LetMeStart: 8yo, as I read her a fairy tale at bedtime: WOW your chin is hairy. Me: ...so the witch threw the overly-observant kid in the oven. The End.