@GrandadJFreeman: In 1911: Dracula used to drink virgin girls blood ... In 2012: he died of hunger.
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@mstluvstrinkets: The neighbor's wife is gonna be so happy when she sees how much yardwork he got done today. -I think, laying out in a bikini in my backyard
@SondraDeeMe: Call me crazy, but the last person who did is still in a full body cast, so it's up to you.
@JimmerThatisAll: People who say "in and of itself" are responsible for most of the trouble in the world.
@RobDenBleyker: Paula Deen should create her own brand of butter called I Can't Believe It's Not 1860.