@PaperWash: In 2058 the selfies became self aware and choose their own filters.
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@RandiLawson: I like to think of myself not so much as a terrible driver, but an awesome stunt woman.
@PeachyPixel8: I JUST DRUNK 37 MONSTER ENERGYS AND NOW I CAN SMELL ABSTRACT LEGISLATIVE EUPHEMISMS
@BarebakAssassin: After you're done looking for true love on Twitter, you should go ride a unicorn around Atlantis, then eat some heart-healthy ice cream.
@ArfMeasures: THERAPIST: Ever had a job? ME: I once worked at a zoo T: Great! & what did you take from that? ME: Definitely not a penguin T: What M: What