@VodkaThursday: In 5 yrs I will be drinking from a crystal decanter discussing affairs & murders in my upper middle class community. Also, I will have a hat
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@NotthatAdamWest: April Fool's Day pregnancy jokes stopped being fun when my parents started getting excited instead of scared.
@calamitydaisy: I feel a burst of superiority when I trick a fly into flying out of my car window.
@iQuoteComedy: That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep.