@storming01: In a cementary, I saw a guy crouching behind a tombstone. Morning, I said. No, he said, just taking a dump... .
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@ThoughtOtter: *hears crying* *finds baby in dumpster* *sees large box full of N64 games* *looks around* "You didn't see anything, baby." *takes box*
@Dawn_M_: [making small talk at a party] Hair products are so expensive these days. Do you think that's why poor people look like shit?"