@WesTheFatKid: In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king.
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@DaddyBeerGuy: In case you haven't checked Facebook, It's hot today, the fireworks were beautiful, and 32 friends invited you to play candy crush!
@kuuuuuu: *When I see someone else jaywalk* "What an idiot." *When I jaywalk* "I am a trained professional. Do not attempt this yourself."
@noog: If your kid's shitty kindergarten drawing is hanging on your fridge, you are an enabler of mediocrity.