@WesTheFatKid: In a land with no pockets, the man with the fanny pack is king.
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@Nickadoo: "I just died in your arms" sounds much more romantic than "You're holding a dead body."
@CornOnTheGoblin: [doctor presses play] [video of me having a hard time slowing down after exiting an airport moving sidewalk] couple: maybe a different donor
@Moronyc: A mosquito fell into my beer five minutes ago and now he's naked and calling his ex-girlfriends and drinking my beer