@Social_Mime: In about five years when a kindergarten teacher is taking attendance and calls out Thanos at least eight boys will say "here."
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@ElgatoEsmio: At the state fair I realized none of my troubles matter when you dip them in batter
@tsm560: I don’t know if this day is tantamount to the worst day of my life because I don’t know what tantamount means.
@DaddyJew: When you catch someone picking their nose it's important that you maintain eye contact so they know you know.