@OwensDamien: In an attempt to build some exercise into my daily routine, I’ve put the biscuits on a higher shelf. Boy, I’m gonna be sore tomorrow.
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@awesomelocks: Woman: The bees are dying. random male: I don't know what kind of men YOU hang out with but I'M not killing bees.
@TheSnideOne: Face tattoos are a great way to let people know that you don't owe on any student loans.
@iamspacegirl: uh NEWS FLASH Keith ur name rhymes w/ teeth. Yea how do u like them apples Mouth Boy. How do u like them apples promoting good oral hygiene
@TheRolo: Girlfriend Parents: so how did you meet our daughter? Me: we met at a nickelback conc- Gf: [covers my mouth] we met on tinder