@ericONEderful: In college I had 3 girlfriends at the same time. 10 years and a wife later, I have 0 girlfriends. Stay in school kids.
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@biggt1973: Mental note, its inappropriate, according to the HR department, to put your hand on the back of a female coworkers head as she eats a banana
@FeelingEuphoric: PRINCE: Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! RAPUNZEL: (to hair) you're really sweet but I think we should just be friends
@reczit: Smartphone owners are the bravest. They're not afraid of anything not even death. They can walk into any running truck without giving a damn
@GreenEyedJedi: I once dated a guy who left a trail of rose petals leading to a sinkful of dirty dishes.