@TommyKarate: In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me.
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@HomeProbably: When people ask me about my hobbies, I tell them I'm into birdwatching, photography and meeting new people. It sounds better than stalking.
@johngaysee: My dog and I have two things in common: We like burying our bones in other peoples backyards and fleas :-(
@UmarHSoaries: They told me it was love at first sight during their divorce proceedings. - Reasons why I drink
@XplodingUnicorn: Tonight's parenting lesson: If a 2-year-old says, "I'm going to puke," FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T CALL HER BLUFF. I need a shower.