@TommyKarate: In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me.
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@robfee: The best thing to do on New Years Eve is set the microwave timer with the countdown so the first thing that happens that year is Pizza Rolls
@TechnicallyRon: Aliens: "Take us to your leader" "No" "What" "Look we've made some mistakes" "Just take..." "It's been a weird year, half of us are morons"
@TheMichaelRock: No thanks, World Cup. If I wanted to watch dudes run around for 3 hours and leave with a tie, I'd just go to Sears.