@TommyKarate: In extremely rare cases women have been known to sleep with me.
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@iAmJuddy: Next time you let someone here affect your real life, tell a stranger "I'm mad at some online person I've never met" then let them punch you
@TheAdly: Why is your ass split vertically? Because if it was split horizontally it would clap when you're going down the stairs.
@ilovepie84: Mall security asked me to empty my pockets. My response was "you won't find a better job or respect in my pockets"
@PaperWash: me: [placing 20 bags of pizza rolls onto counter] cashier: getting ready for the big snow storm? me: snow storm?