@Vodkantots: In hell, every day is Thanksgiving and you're never allowed to unbutton your pants.
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@ieatanddrink: Dating tip: Girls love mysterious guys. For example, tell her "Im a lawyer.Or AM I?" then hum the Twilight Zone theme and turn into an eagle
@TonyWIVK: In 2004 I took one bite of a Nature Valley granola bar in my car, and I’m still finding crumbs today.