@Vodkantots: In hell, every day is Thanksgiving and you're never allowed to unbutton your pants.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@QwertyJones3: Her: You don't have to cook me dinner, we can just go out. Me *tossing a jellyfish in the air like pizza dough* No it's fine I don't mind..
@ShaneKnowsStuff: The girls I meet in bars have the worst pickup lines. They're like, "Hey, what's your friend's name?" Never works on me ladies.
@murrman5: *catches frisbee* "this is the kinda thing I mean when I say you guys don't take staff meetings seriously"
@SoFarFetchd: "You know what, we need a huge spoon to take care of this" -Guy who invented shovels