@canadasandra: in hell your cat can talk and he openly judges you for everything he saw you doing when you were home alone
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@jimmy_boston: Wife: Did you measure for carpet? Me: Yeah, from the window Wife: Don't Me: To the wall Wife: Don't Me: tothesweatdripoffmyballs! *runs*
@sfreeze6: "Mrs. Doubtfire" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking.
@Elizasoul80: [At auto store] Employee: How can we get you to walk out of here with 4 tires? "Sir, you are wildly overestimating my strength."
@KeetPotato: [jungle book] bagheera: "you can't fight him like a wolf, you're NOT a wolf, fight him like a man" mowgli: [writes a strongly worded e-mail]