@Sleinso: In hell your pizza delivery guy is a snail.
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@DamienFahey: I wouldn't wish death on an enemy but I would wish being accidentally hit in the back of the ankle with a grocery cart.
@TheMichaelRock: Boss: Why did you call off yesterday? Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.
@DrawingShadows: I am going to make millions when I finally finish developing this iPhone app that tells you when the traffic light turns green.