@bombsydoll: in high school I was voted 'who is that? does she even go to our school? Never saw her before'
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@steveolivas: I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much "awesome" in a standard-sized body.
@TheBoydP: When accused by a woman a man's first instinct is to deny. We're not lying, we're just buying time to remember what you're talking about...
@jeffswarens: Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy.