@DrakeBell: In honor of Kim and Kanye's baby "North West" I will be naming my first son "Taco"
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@CatherineLMK: "Damnit!" -a burglar, discovering yet another drawer filled with dead batteries, take-out menus, and pen caps.
@MomOnFire: Granny, pay attention and don't panic. I need you to think hard and tell me how many brownies you ate out of the blue pan.
@gtfml: When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
@longwall26: I like microwaves that spin the food around because I'm all, oh yeah, hot pocket, looking good, girl, from the front AND the back uh huh.