@Manda_like_wine: In my dream I see us all standing together, throwing away differences and rallying for the abolition of mayo escape-holes in loaf bread.
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@thatcarlygirl: New exercise regimen: I can only sit down when my toddler does. So far I've lost 17,000 pounds.
@seandunn76: Me: Kensington, fetch me my robe. K: You sold your robe and everything else you own so you could afford a butler. Me: Hold me, Kensington.
@DiscoFruit: [first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?
@iAmDelFreaky: *breathing becomes rapid and pulse starts racing* I...I've never felt...SO ALIVE! *holds up 11th nugget from 10 piece box, for all to see*