@AntiSemanticShw: In my life Ive spent 90% of my money on drugs, drinking and women. The other 10% I wasted.
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@NightValeRadio: Secret agents asking citizens to please speak more clearly in all phone calls. Also, cut the chitchat and get to the good stuff, they ask.
@Adar79Angie: Local news : box full of kittens mistaken for a bomb. I have to go to this town. I may be mistaken for Megan Fox.
@TheToddWilliams: [boss's office] BOSS: Do you like my fire place? ME: Actually, it's one word: "fireplace" BOSS: You're fired ME: Oh, I get it now