@Lisabug74: In my trunk is a tire iron, a box of human hair, and a bottle of Grey Goose. I'm always prepared for an impromptu crime scene tampering.
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@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard
@batkaren: ROBOT: You cannot defeat us ENGLISH TEACHER: Why's the ch pronounced differently in orchid than in orchard? ROBOT: [twitch, spark]
@Book_Krazy: Jack is coming over. "Jack from work or Jack and the..." [a beanstalk comes up through the floor and crashes through the ceiling]