@findmydolls: In September a 127 yr old woman passed away, which we already KNOW is a lie bc the earth isn't even 127 yrs old. Don't be ignorant.
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@madcaplaughs30: The first guy to skip a rock was probably all sad and just trying to toss the rock in the pond and was like "well, can't even do that right"
@imence2: My daughter can open just about any front door using a credit card, so your kids honor roll certificate seems a little useless right now.
@WoodyLuvsCoffee: My GF's anti aging cream went bad. HOW DOES ANTI AGING CREAM HAVE AN EXPIRATION DATE?!
@bea_ker: [circus school] "So to tame the lion, you have this whip..." What if the lion's too close? [picking up tiny stool] "we've thought of that"