@JordanFoisy: In the future the only two jobs left are Uber driver and escape room planner.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@AimeeHelene1: My CW just barked. Ok, it may have been a burp, but I'd like him a lot more if he were turning into a dog, so I think he barked.
@str8outaCompUSA: Jesus, don't take the wheel. Give me your keys. Sober up. *hands cup of water* DON'T TURN THAT INTO WINE AGAIN
@librarianfonz: It's especially on Fridays at 5 pm when I wish I could slide down the back of a brontosaurus directly into my car.
@TheTweetOfGod: Man shall not live on bread alone. Yet it is easy to forget this at restaurants and end up full before the appetizer.