@dogboner: in the rental car today and my son said it was like we were in a "rocket ship" how many rocket ships have you been in. That's what I thought
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@AristotlesNZ: Him: Ha! I got your ATM card. Me: So? You'll never guess my PIN. Him: Is it 6969? Me:.. Him:. Me:.. Him:. Me: Seriously dude, give it back.
@The_Grant_Boldt: *at Starbucks* "Ya I'll have the medium roast please" *Barista insults him a lot but not too much*
@JeremyBRoberts: Scott Walker is dropping out of the Presidential race. In a nationwide poll of likely voters nearly 98% responded to the news with, "Who?"
@amazymay72x: What would u do if u won the lotto? 10yo: Buy legos & a bigger house for u. 11yo: I'd buy a monkey. Going to be extra nice to my 10yo.