@WheelTod: In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car.
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@JermHimselfish: As you get older, dirty talk turns into "Yeah baby, take that nap. Take all of it honey. You like that couch? Oh yeah, sleep on it..."
@SteveSuckington: A letter to Paul from the Corinthians: Hey sup Paul. This is the Corinthians. This is my new number
@JaneBadall: My son approaches even small chores with the enthusiasm of a POW forced to build a railway bridge over the river Kwai.