@WheelTod: In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car.
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@goldengateblond: You call what I just did walking into a wall. I call it looking for walls I can pass through and marking that one off the list.
@mysteryteacher: Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody.
@_xLNc: My father once told me, "Son, if you want people to listen to what you have to say, claim it's something your father told you."
@ashleycrem: I had children for two reasons; I wanted to start a loving family, and I needed a quick excuse to leave things.