@Faceyspace: Initially I thought I would rather catch herpes than feelings. But then I realized herpes are forever.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@DanMentos: Gene Hackman is my favorite actor whose name sounds like a job description at Monsanto
@robfee: "I'm still years behind on Breaking Bad so I expect the entire internet not to discuss it until it's convenient for me." - Idiots
@CheetoBandito77: I stepped on the scale today. Not to get my weight. I just couldn't reach the cookies in the cupboard.
@iwearaonesie: Apparently when your wife asks you to get your toddler off your bed she doesn't mean knock him off with a pillow