@TheTweetOfGod: Inside everybody there's a still, small voice seeking to guide them on their journey through life. It was put there by the CIA.
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@hardlyrelevant: *holds up bread* this is my body *holds up wine* this is my blood *holds up fire* and this is my mixtape
@KayRants: Every time I get an eyelash in my eye, I'm reminded of how quickly I would die in the wild.
@TheMichaelRock: Me: Excuse me, where are your nails that twist? Worker: You mean screws? Me: I don't know, I'm not a nail scientist. Worker....
@Seinfeld2000: GERG: She licked ur donut? JERY: Shes a DONUT LICKER! GERG: gross! JERY: she also said she "hates america" GERG: Donut licking traitor!