@DirtMcTurd: Inspired by T.G.I.Fridays, I opened a place called C.L.I.Thursdays. It closed down though because most guys couldnt find it
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@Nickadoo: On Twitter, people respect you for sharing your deepest, darkest flaws. Unless those flaws are typos, in which case, die in a fire.
@JimmerThatisAll: If a woman asks you to buy her a flamethrower ask yourself some questions before you buy it.
@Jesssicle: If I drop something in the toilet, it's gone forever. I am not going in after it. Just ask my daughter. Oh, that's right, you can't.
@miffedmim: Ghost: never eats, never sleeps, moans a lot Vampire: sucks the life out of u Werewolf: human w/ fits of howling Child: all of the above