@ryaninco: Instagram before the foods goes in, Twitter when the food goes out.
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@urgeekisshowing: That awkward moment when someone asks if you've dyed your hair and you say no, its just clean.
@TheToddWilliams: [interview] BOSS: How many words can you type a minute? ME: Probably all of them BOSS: What do you mean? ME: Well, like for example, pickle
@scorpicpanda: When the imaginary zebras start sawing off your legs, it's time to lay off the hard stuff.
@animaldrumss: Sir? the table of hot ladies over there wanted to know what song you were drumming on the bar. they said it seemed very fast and impressive.