@Discourt: INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING.
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@AndyAsAdjective: WIFE: omg Will Smith's son, Jaden, is dead ME: where'd you see that? W: Facebook M: I'm pretty sure that's a hoax W: no Facebook is real
@marknorm: After learning about hieroglyphics, it makes you realize that Egyptians invented the emoji.
@BrettDruck: I dated a 21 year old for 3 months before she looked up from her phone and realized I wasn't Tobey Maguire