@Discourt: INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. I REPEAT. INSTAGRAM IS DOWN. HOLD THE DUCKFACES. HOLD THE MEALS. HOLD EVERYTHING.
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@GaryJanetti: Yes, the Nazis were wrong but the Von Trapps were also singing very loudly, all the time, and had refused to stop.
@candygrlMT: Stop telling me your newborns weight and length. I don't know what to do with that information.
@TweetingDadGuy: Wild horses could definitely drag me away. Tame horses could too. A slightly muscular hamster probably could drag me away at this point.
@ibid78: [me] if all dogs go to heaven, then what about Cujo? [the pope] how did you get into my bathroom?