@theyearofelan: Instagram is down! I'm freaking out! What are you people eating? How are your pets? What the hell is happening???
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@SuperShourds: My 4 year told me my tummy looks soft and squishy today, so I put her barbies on the highest shelf on the house.
@chrisdelia: I'm pitching a show called "Walking Dad" where dads go around biting each other and then the people who get bitten become dads too.
@StephenAtHome: If you're doing nothing wrong, you have nothing to hide from the giant surveillance apparatus the government's been hiding.