@WriterLifeCo: Instagram now has video! I'm going to film the hell out of this salad!
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@simoncholland: Based on all the white smoke billowing out, I think my lawn mower just picked a new pope.
@robfee: Sorry Im late, I was staring at a wall for an hour thinkin about how delicious that pizza looked on Home Alone 2 when Kevin got in the limo.
@KalvinMacleod: WORM: Why do caterpillars think they are better than us? OTHER WORM: *is drowning in a very shallow puddle*
@NatBaimel: 17 year-old Malia Obama playing beer pong is the most outrageous thing the child of a president has done since George W. Bush invaded Iraq