@TheTweetOfGod: Instagramming daily selfies does not constitute personal growth.
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@Rollmaninoz: [first day as a vet] Me: ma’am I’m afraid your horse has some of the worst cancer I’ve ever seen Her: um this is a camel Me: a what now??
@MeetingBoy: When I asked for screenshots, I meant using the PRT SCR button, not shaky pictures of the screen with your phone, you idiot.
@AaronFullerton: I think it's unfair that when a human eats uncooked fish it's "sushi," but when a fish eats uncooked human, it's "a shark attack."