@therealeatwood: Instead of complaining that it’s hard to remove glitter, accept it. Embrace it. You are a shiny person now.
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@abysmalkittybee: I never let people borrow my shoes, because if they walk a mile in them they'll know how much I exaggerate my problems.
@astutenewf: Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.