@byrdie_num_num: Instead of "Juicy" I have "May contain gas" written on the back of my shorts.
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@Izianikapani: Make bowling your first date. If he rents small shoes and jams his fingers in the wrong holes don’t bother with a second.
@GrantTanaka: We should probably abolish the death penalty since we don't even get to throw rotten vegetables at people anymore
@KindOfASmartass: I don't steal my tweets from song lyrics! Seriously. Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here.